Bill Maher is great. Recently in his “new rules” segment he decided to go off on the pharmaceutical industry and the manner in which people maintain their health in this country. This was so great that I decided to transcribe it for you all to enjoy.
 
If you believe you need to take all the pills the pharmaceutical industry says you do, then you’re already on drugs. It’s that time in the campaign where all the candidates are presenting their health care proposals. Hillary’s covers children’s teeth, Edwards has one that maintains gorgeous shiny hair and Barack Obama’s involves going on Oprah and everyone’s gets a gastric bypass. But none of them address the real problem. We won’t stop being sick until we stop making ourselves sick because there is a point where even the most universal government health program can’t help you. They can’t outlaw unhealthy food or alcohol or cigarettes, just pot sadly. Because you see the government isn’t your nanny, they’re your dealer. And they subsidize illness in America, they have too. There’s too much money in it. There’s no money in healthy or dead people. The money’s in the middle. People are alive, sort of, but with one or more chronic conditions that puts them in need of Celebrex or Nasonex or Valtrex or Lunestra.
 
Fifty years ago children’s didn’t even get type II diabetes. Now it’s an emerging epidemic, as are a long list of ailments which used to be rare and have now been “mainstreamed.” Things like asthma, autism, acid reflux, arthritis, allergies, adult acne, attention deficit disorder and that’s just the A’s. Doesn’t any body wonder why we live with all this illness? I’ll tell you why. At the LA County Fair last week they were serving something called fried coke. Now my first thought was, “Gosh, what a waste of a perfectly good 8 ball.” No but they actually pour coca cola syrup into a deep fryer then put it in a cup and top it with sugar, whipped cream and a cherry because you know fruit is good for you. But would it really be that much more unhealthy to get molested by one of the Carney’s?
 
In Hillary Clinton’s health plan, the work nutrition and exercise appear once. The word drugs, 14 times. Just as the pharmaceutical companies want. You know their ad people love to say when diet and exercise fail. Well diet and exercise don’t fail, a fact that was brought home last week by a new Duke University study showed that exercise, yes exercise, is just as effective a cure for depression as Paxil and Zoloft. So ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you. You know, if Republicans can sell the idea of preemptive war, Democrats have to at least get us interested in the idea of preventative medicine. Someone has to stand up and say that the answer isn’t another pill, the answer is spinach. Okay, not spinach because it turns out that crap will kill you but you know what I mean.